Much of what I feel and focus on is understanding what it is, why it happened, and how I can fix and move forward in a different format. Do I question it all? YES, is that healthy? For me, YES, again. Breaking down false beliefs about myself or situations to build a solid personal foundation based on my true thoughts is what knowing myself looks like. It offers me peace of mind and stability, a sense of true self.
I continue to recognize that when something comes or someone doesn’t align with my beliefs, values, or desires, I simply say no, that isn’t for me. Breaking down and thinking about who I am and what I need is beyond empowering and brings contentment. Although, my toxic trait that has not left is I still get mad about old pain even if I have moved past it. Because I still don’t understand why I deserved it.
I promise you this. You must catch me while I care…once I stop caring, I am a whole different person. I also think there’s a point in one’s healing journey where you stop trying to convince others to do the right thing. Lately, I have been observing their choices, understanding their character, and deciding if I will continue allowing them in my life.
Or maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Perhaps it is about un-becoming everything that isn’t me, so I can be who I was meant to be in the first place.