As I reflect on the past twelve months, I find myself immersed in a series of recurring lessons—some new, some revisited—that have shaped my year. Themes like my compulsion to fix things (especially relationships), the lingering remnants of my people-pleasing tendencies, and my habit of overexplaining myself while overthinking interactions have all surfaced. These habits have often left me drained, investing energy in people and situations that did not deserve it.

I could easily stop here, wrapping it up as a list of things I still need to work on. But that wouldn’t capture what 2024 has truly taught me—lessons that, while hard-earned, have been transformational.

The first, and perhaps the most impactful, is this: people can only meet me as deeply as they are willing to meet themselves. This realization hit me like a brick. I spent too much time trying to reach people who, for their reasons, were simply not capable—or willing—to engage at the level I hoped for. The repeated attempts, the same disappointing outcomes, only led to my misery.

But 2025 will be a year of awakening. While I declared 2024 as the “year of taking care of me,” only through trial and error did I truly grasp what that meant. I learned that repair and reconciliation are only worth pursuing in relationships where honest conflict can exist—where both parties are willing to receive and process hard truths, even when it hurts. Relationships that operate in a façade of “dishonest harmony” (something both my origin family and my husband’s family often lean into) only lead to stagnation.

It’s been eye-opening to realize how many people cannot handle the truth—subjective or objective. For someone like me, who thrives in truth, this has been a tough pill to swallow. I welcome critique, hard facts, and even criticism if it helps me grow and become a better version of myself. To me, truth is a gift, not a threat.

This clarity has inspired my word for 2024: Accountability. I will hold myself accountable for my actions, my behavior, and my growth. I will continue to face challenges head-on, refusing to ignore or avoid what’s uncomfortable. I’ve decided I won’t tiptoe around the elephant in the room—it’s there, ruby-red lipstick and pink tutu glaring for all to see.

Moving forward, I recognize that perspective has been my greatest ally this year. I’ve embraced a grander outlook on life, prioritizing meaningful connections with people who value accountability and growth as much as I do. My mistakes will remain my teachers, but only if I’m willing to listen—to myself, others, and the lessons life presents.

Interestingly, my writing this year has been one of my best instructors. I’ve been reminded of the power of flexibility and humility through the editing process, with its red marks and strike-throughs. There is always another way to express ourselves, think, and grow—but only if we listen carefully and remain open to learning.

So, as I close out 2024, I step forward with gratitude for the lessons learned, the clarity gained, and the relationships that have taught me the value of truth, accountability, and listening to myself. Here’s to continuing the growth journey, one hard-earned realization at a time.