I live in two different worlds. One that can be considered my traditional world in which I share with others and does not separate me from them. The other, my isolated and imaginative world where many creative acts of craziness occur.
Ultimately, this duality of my worlds is intimately and intricately connected. They converge. They merge. They propel me into chaotic states with lofty thoughts and questions. A bifurcation of brilliance valuing the dichotomy of me.
With plenty of my questions going unanswered, I continue to contemplate and consider the why, what, and how. This desire to cultivate my curiosity and quest for understanding of a deeper meaning in life separates me from wanting to participate in the mundane of the familiar.
How do I learn to live out this delicate dance and intermingle my madness within a traditional world?
If I knew the answer, you would not be reading this.
My mind is a mysterious machine. My condition is a conundrum. My circumstance leaves me frustrated. I relish silence, yet require the noise of modern life. An imperfect paradox.
Are you an introvert or extrovert, a new acquaintance recently asked me; I cannot tell, they declared. Does it matter, I thought to myself? If I am social versus anti-social. If I enjoy people versus being alone. I dabble in both. I can classify myself as a social introvert. I delight in hanging out with people, but when I spend too much time with them, I become drained and require alone time.
Oscar Wilde once said something along the lines of how healthy it is to spend time alone. One needs to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person. This resonates with me.
It will be a challenge, but I intend to cross-pollinate—between both the conventional and the ephemeral. As I explore my gleanings on what it means to lead a good life—intellectually, creatively, and spiritually, answers may appear as I live into them.
I no longer claim the contradictions in my life. I create space and time for both, and when I do, my soul smiles.
© January 2017 Shannon Hogan Cohen